I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
