How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
