I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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