you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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