Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
