hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
