I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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