I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
