Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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