we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
