Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
