I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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