Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Houston, we have a squirter
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i think my cat just said my name.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
