i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
