she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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