we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
