Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
