I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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