I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
