It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
