I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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