ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
