so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
