White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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