Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
