hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
