it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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