that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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