sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
