The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
