I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
