Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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