I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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