Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Everything about him screamed your future.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
