God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
