Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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