I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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