Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
