My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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