im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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