My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
