Apparently you make a good broom.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
