I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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