Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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