I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
