the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
