She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
