Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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