I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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