Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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